It Takes A Village--An Introduction
How difficult could it be? I don't think that any of us truly had an idea how life changing having a child would be. There are villages in Africa where the entire community comes together to take care of the newborn baby and support the mother around the clock for months on end. If you are lucky enough to live near family then you too will have support from elders who have done this all before and can help guide you in the day to day trials and tribulations of being a "first-time" mom. I think most of us would agree that it is the hardest and most undervalued job in the world. We formed this group as our own personal "village" of support for each other and created this blog as an extension of that support to you.Some of us met in hypnobirthing class, some are friends of a friend, nontheless, we all came together with one main goal in common. We were all about to experience the "rite of passage" of giving birth and the beautiful yet bumpy transition into motherhood. One by one we shared our birth stories, all very different, and some truly harrowing. We had our babies within 5 months of each other and soon after we formed our own weekly "Mommy and Me". We are a lagniappe of women with varying lifestyles and stories: A painter, a photographer, a writer, a motivational speaker, a clothing designer, a vegan cookie baker, a handful of actors, and a bi-coastal tea shop owner. Our various backgrounds include some city slickers, southern charm, midwest madness, west coast ease and fiery latin flair. We all navigate marriage, career, community, and parenting in our own individually unique ways. In other words, we do not always agree. But, working women who are all seeking support as we consciously strive to create balance and learn as much as we can on this great road to Motherhood.
So welcome to "Mum's the Word". This is our writing on the cave walls. We trust that you will learn from our mistakes, and laugh with us as we stumble along. Our hope is that you will use this blog as a great resource to help you grow and evolve in your own unique way and take comfort in the knowledge that you are not alone on the journey.
Happy Mothering!!!
Delaine and Emery June
What an incredible year it has been. My husband and I talked about getting pregnant on a Tuesday and by Wednesday I was pregnant! I still can't believe sometimes that I have a baby.
My name is Delaine and I was born and raised in a small town outside of New Orleans. With stars in my eyes, I left home at 18 and moved to NYC to pursue acting. I presently reside in Los Angeles where I am an actress, writer, landscape designer, and can now proudly add "first time" Mom to the resume. My sweet ball of sunshine is Miss Emery June and is often referred to as my little "Junebug". After having an amazing pregnancy, Emery was born on Sept. 1st at 11:53 am. Her birth was the most incredible experience of my life.
The first 6 months of her little life were not so easy. Emery had digestion issues, colic and reflux, which were obviously very painful for her as she cried sometimes all day. Nighttime was not much better. She would wake up sometimes 5 or 6 times to nurse only to spit it up and start all over again. It was heartbreaking. I had never been more physically or emotionally drained and not being able to comfort her, I couldn't help feeling like a failure as a mother. At 6 months she went on medication and within one week the whole bad business was over with. The vibrant, playful, loving little girl that I have been so proud to call my daughter came out to play and has never looked back. Seeing her now, it is hard to believe that there was ever an issue. I don't know how I would have made it through those difficult months without the words of encouragement and loving support of my wonderful "village" of mommies and babies. I feel so blessed to be a part of this incredible group of talented diverse women as we grow together on this crazy beautiful adventure into "motherhood".
Julie and Jaidev
I'm Julie and my son Jaidev is now 10 and 1/2 months old (as of July 26, 2010). What is there to say, I was never quite sure if I even wanted kids to begin with. All I knew in 2008 is that I was running the NYC marathon in November, and as soon as I finished it my husband and I agreed that I would go off the Pill. We were just going to see what happens and play it by ear, and of course I got pregnant in mid-December. 9 Months later on September 15, 2009 Jaidev Max Nesse was born. As soon as he entered my arms any question about wanting children dissapeared. He made his Virgo personality very clear before even coming into the world. He was breach from about 25 weeks and didn't want to turn around, no matter what I tried to do. Since he was in this folded position for so long, he had to wear a harnass for the first 3 months of his life. During that time he was fussy and crying a lot, and we weren't sure we would ever sleep again. Then the harnass came off, and he started to come out of his newborn haze and his true colors came out. My smiling, talkative, and already flirty little boy (yes he already loves the ladies) had arrived. All I see now when I look at his face is love and light. No matter how challenging, exhausting, or compromising being a mother is, it's worth every second just for that smile.
stacy and harper
So, we are the newbies of the group. I'm Stacy and my baby, Harper Grace, is 4 1/2 months old. We found our way to this lovely gathering through Sarah and Luca (Sarah and I attended grad school together) and have been welcomed with open arms.
I guess I am still learning who Harper is. I must say, I really like what I've seen so far. She came barreling into this world and hasn't looked back once. She is loving and funny and joyful and studious and figures something new out everyday. I so look forward to waking up and seeing her laughing eyes and crazy red hair!
My husband and I studied and practiced the Bradley Method of natural childbirth and were so thrilled to see it come to fruition. Of course, we didn't have much choice as my entire labor (at least what I was aware of) lasted only 3 1/2 hours. I'm not kidding about the barreling into this world thing! I still cannot believe what an amazing (and speedy!) journey that was.
Shelly and Ayla
Transitioning into mommy-hood would have felt so lonely and scary without these ladies. We've struck gold! There are so many unknowns on this journey and it is so rewarding to know others are going through the same thing. I've realized how important it is to do things that make me fulfilled, because there will always be mothering to do. Everyday is a marathon and once I finally lay my baby down to sleep at night, I'm always like I DID IT and I high five one of her toys on the way out of her room (as quietly as I can)!
I'm Shelly, mother to Ayla, who is currently an 8 1/2 months old girl. Ayla is a good person (that is one thing no one tells you when you are pregnant, you are giving birth to a person, more than a baby). She is smart, social, has a sense of humor, and is observant to the passing world. I'm an actress who has a long history of doing improv and sketch comedy in New York and have just started to get back into my comedy routines here in Los Angeles...not to mention the private comedy shows I do making Ayla's dinner. I can't wait to share with you all that Ayla teaches me on this journey of motherhood, even the scary stuff. I know we can tackle anything, because I'll be going through it with these beautiful Moms and babes!
Sarah & Luca James
"Do you have a group of Mom's that you get together with regularly?" This is what my midwife asked me in my ninth month of pregnancy. I thought, "What the crap? How does someone who has never had a baby before, suddenly have a group of Moms to hang with regularly?" I couldn't see at the time why it was so vital to be involved with such a group, but I have certainly have come to find out.
The only other person I knew that just had a baby was (our own), Shelly. She wrote me one day and said she wanted to start a Moms group. At this point I still didn't identify with being a Mom very well - I was still a cool, care-free, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants girl. RIGHT? Being in a "Mom's group" sounded a bit like nails on a chalk board to me. So I said, "If we can call it 'MILF and Cookies', I'm in".
The fact is, I'm not that cool and I love being a Mom to baby Luc Jay. As it turns out, being a Mom really agrees with me, but not in a 'comfort food' kind of way. In a, "WOW, I have never had Lobister Thermidor with a glass of Pouilly Fuissé before, and they are knockin' my hooter hider right off!" way. It's truly an amazing ride.
Luca was born at home, just in time to get Libra status. It's a good thing because our house isn't big enough for two Scorpios. It was an amazing day in many ways... it was raining here in the desert, both the Vikings AND the Browns won that day, and most amazing of all was that we had a birth experience much better than I imagined it would be. Our baby was finally here, he arrived with much peace and calm in the heart of the night.
So, I don't eat lobster, and I don't use hooter hiders. But motherhood IS an amazing, astonishing ride. I am grateful to experience the ups and downs with this truly beautiful group of MILFs and scrumptious batch of Cookies.
Loreni and Miles
Hello everyone! I too am incredibly happy to have found this amazing group of mothers who are beautiful inside and out. Miles and I have received the love and support that we so desperately need on our journey together.
I'm Loreni, a fiery Latina actress and mother to Miles Isaac, a gorgeous, zenned-out, 9 1/2 month old baby with Down syndrome. Miles' diagnosis was discovered at birth, which made his birth experience very shocking and emotional for me. But every day as I look at my baby, hold his hand, see his smile, hear his laughter, look into this eyes, I find the strength and courage to recover from the shock and blossom into the mother that I am.
And Miles is doing great! He loves music and playing instruments like the piano, drums and guitar. He babbles and laughs and rolls around all over the place. And he loves playing with his friends. In fact, I think part of the reason he's doing so well is because he has so many "typical" friends to mirror. Yes, it can be hard at times to know that Miles has to work twice as hard just to keep up, but I know that sooner or later he will be able to crawl, walk, run and do just about everything his friends are doing. It's a real lesson in patience and perseverance! I knew I would learn a lot from my baby, but I had no idea what that meant until I met Miles. He brings a little bit of magic into my otherwise ordinary life. And now I get to share it with you!
Susan & Lady Sloane
My vision of motherhood was one thing but the reality has been something completely different. So much sweeter, so much harder, so much more painful and so much more joyful then I could have imagined. It is the most real thing I have ever done. And through all of the reality...I am glad to be here. I guess you could say, "I had no idea." And in a way I think that is life.
After nine months of not knowing if I was going to have a boy or a girl, Sloane Lady Patrick (my baby girl) was born on December 10, 2009 at 8lbs 6oz with a full head of amazing dark hair. As I reflect I think that her birthing day was the first of many lessons that this new little being is going to teach me.
On the day of Sloane's birth she taught her me, "To work like it is all up to me and then to do my very best to let go of the outcome and make room for how she is going to do it." Because after all this is her life!
The long and the short of it was that I had "planned" a home birth and labored there for almost 20 hours expecting it to happen there but Sloane had other plans. Due to a variety of things I ended up in the hospital on an operating table. Like so many woman today, Sloane entered this life though an incision not the birth canal. And for me as a woman I have had to deal with some pain around that. I know they say that the only thing that matters is if the baby is healthy. That being very true (and me knowing that we are very lucky) have to admit that there has been some sadness that I have had to process as a result of this experience. I think that this day was so amazing because it was filled with the deepest sorrow and the deepest joy I have ever experienced.
If you are reading this right now I want to first thank you for sharing your time with me and I want to second say that I am not complaining, I am not depressed or sad, I am normal. The experience of birthing is profound for every woman. There are more levels of emotion packaged in this process then anyone who hasn't experienced it can begin to understand.
Well my name is Susan and I am the proud mother of Sloane. My blog is to to introduce you to my baby and to continue to share with you the best I can the wonderful life lessons I know she is going to continue to teach me....lessons that are going to leave me stronger and richer!
I love you Sloane!!!
Soph and Navy
I am so honored I have found you Mummy's. It's sad because I used to be able to attend the meetings more often and I got so much out of them. Now work calls so it isn't so possible for me as much anymore. However I feel like this will be a great opportunity for me to connect with you all and I truly feel blessed that I have met such amazing women. Thank you for including Navy and I. So here it goes. I feel so lucky to have my beautiful 7.5 month old son in my life. The baby is a miracle no less. I could not carry him, and an amazing lady carried him for me. However, I feel so connected with him, he is the joy in my life, the best thing I ever did (with help :)) and not a day goes by when I don't thank our surrogate mum for what she did for us, I will never stop loving her or thanking her....
Michelle & Gianmarco
My name is Michelle and I am the proud mother of the most amazing little boy, Gianmarco, who is 6 months old today! I had a beautiful pregnancy and a long but beautifully natural birth. I have been blessed with a very sweet, very perceptive and very active baby who loves to cuddle, sing and splash around in the pool. He also loves music and like his mother, loves food! When I'm not chasing after Gianmarco, I am running my baked goods company, Fork in the Road Foods, click here which specializes in vegan cupcakes, cookies and cakes. My family and I live in Santa Monica and we love going to the beach and spending time together. I am so excited to be a mommy and am very lucky to have so many amazing mommies in my life to learn from, lean on and discover parenthood with!
Sarah and Luella Bird
My name is
Sarah and I am a painter and mother of a darling little girl, Luella Bird.I was lucky enough to have a beautiful natural birth, and I have been trying to keep that happy, relaxed vibe present in my mothering. Luella Bird is a social, active, joyful little person. She is 8 months old, has a good sense of humor and remarkable balance. I think she may be a good surfer one day. My paintings (See paintings here) have included breast feeding nipples for the past few years, and now I finally truly understand them. I am so happy to have met this amazing group of women. I have learned so much from them and their experiences with their babies already.
Posts
